My locals' holiday sale was a success! But the crash was as emotional as my worst hangover and 3 times as long.
As most of you know by now, I don't drink anymore and I haven't for a couple months shy of 6 years. That being said. I'm still plagued by a different type of hangover. The hangover and recovery that comes post art show. I've even had a dang headache all week.
I hosted my first ever private, locals' holiday sale last Friday and Saturday and for a first sale, IT WAS AWESOME. I sold 23 paintings and a bunch of ocean inspired note cards, hats and hand made-ornaments. I also had 20 people join my mailing list, which for me, is the largest number ever at one time. It was a total success...and yet, I've spent the past 2 days in a depressed mood with about as much energy as a sloth.
23 PAINTINGS!!!! That's amazing and I want to give a huge shout out to the collectors. I'm totally stoked about that. So why, might you ask, would I be depressed? Well, there are a few reasons.
I mean with collectors like this cutie, what could there possibly be to be depressed about?
I told you last week that this show was different for me in that I hosted it. I didn't work with another business or gallery. From the work offered, to the lighting and set up, to the marketing, it was all me, and I liked that just fine. I was less nervous and there weren't as many "what ifs" in my head as there are when there are other people involved. I thought that because of that, my show hangover wouldn't be as bad. Well I thought wrong.
It's worse. Amplified by the fact that after the sale, I didn't get to simply walk out the door the way I would have been able to if the sale had been at another business or gallery. On Sunday, I put the house back together, took inventory and set up my online December pop up shop, all of which only took about eleven hours.
On Monday I launched the pop up to my mailing list, organized and inputted all of the new additions to said list, and started the arduous process of financial reconciliation of the event. Monday night, I was supposed to drive to the coast but was so crosseyed from tiredness, I backed out of my surf time. Yup...I was that dang tired.
On Tuesday, I sat on my ass. I watch first two of The Maze Runner trilogy and ate way too many left-over Christmas cookies (damn you, Trader Joe's!). Wednesday I worked a half-day and finished off the third movie.
By Thursday, I was depressed. In retrospect, I'm not sure that going from a hundred miles per hour to zero overnight was the best strategy. I didn't go for my walk or do yoga. I chose to eat poorly and sit in front of the glowing screen of death for hours and hours.
I knew yesterday afternoon that I had better get out and take a hike or I was going to get worse. By the time I got to the trail head, I was filled with doubt about how the sale had actually gone. Despite the fact I had sold 23 paintings, it some how wasn't enough and I should have sold more. I still hadn't figured out how to most effectively market my online shop. How was I going to make my goal? Maybe I would never make it? And just like that, my anxiety brain was off to the races.
Then I started hiking. I practically ran up and down the trails and hopped over little creek crossings. It made me smile and my heart beat strong. It made me breathe hard, all of that pent up energy finally getting out.
Today I'm a little bit better. I worked a full day but I'm afraid the cold gray day outside has made it hard for me to get out. Maybe I'll do a little yoga. Maybe I'll eat more cookies and watch another movie. I'm in that apathetic part of the hangover where if I were still a drinker, I wouldn't feel good enough to go to the gym, but recovered enough to have a beer. The only good thing I can say is that at least with a show hangover (as opposed to an alcohol hangover), I actually remember the show. So there's that silver lining...
This is the time in the process where I have to make a decision. To simply accept the cycle and do what I know I need to do in order to come out the other side. Take care of myself. Get daily exercise. Eat healthy. Get sleep. Keep up with my to do list. If I lived on the beach, I'd be surfing, but sometimes I just have to stop and do only the necessities.
The holidays are upon us. We need to make sure to take care of ourselves so we can show up on the days when family and friends gather. So with that, I think I'll go out to the movies instead of plopping on the couch tonight. At least I'll get an outing and maybe even some inspiration.
But if I don't, I'm just going to continue to be kind to myself and do what needs to be done to keep the ball rolling. Right now, a slow roll is just about all I got left in me. Re-fuel, renew, repeat.
I am an artist and writer, living in Talent, Oregon with my husband and daughter. I play in the ocean to stay strong and inspired, and I often visit my hometown of New Orleans, where the rhythm of my heartbeat is renewed. Follow me on Facebook and Instagram. Join me on this crazy beautiful artventure.
In response to my letter, I Was a Promiscuous Teen: An Open Letter to All the Men from My Past, I created a series of work called Reclaimed Hearts.
Each Reclaimed Heart painting has a paper heart, ripped up and then reassembled onto the canvas to signify the power I've taken back and the self love that I have reclaimed. Freedom is ours. Reach out and take it. CLICK HERE to see the series.