I Was A Promiscuous Teen: An Open Letter to All the Men From My Past

From the time I was 13 on, I was a promiscuous teen. 

I’d like to say that at some point I learned from my mistakes, but after listening to Dr. Christine Blasey Ford's testimony during the Kavanaugh hearings, my past came barreling back into the forefront of my brain and it is clear to me that the behaviors I learned in my teens never really ended.  They went with me into my 20s, 30s, my marriage, how I parented my daughter.  It’s all right there in front of me now.  Like a glaring light that I just realized has been on and blinding me my whole life. 


Dear All the Men from My Past,


Before your instinct to defend yourself kicks in, it is important for you to know that I don’t blame all of you.  I have no desire to live in anger or point fingers.  That is not the purpose of this letter. 


Please read the above sentences twice…a few times maybe.  It’s 100% true.  However, do not confuse my desire to live at peace free from anger as my saying that you are negate of any responsibility…there are many of you who I do blame and hold responsible. 


Some of you took advantage of a young girl with a substance abuse problem.  Some of you were older and thought because I looked and acted older than I was, that it was ok to have sex with me.  At least that’s what you said to me:  “You’re so mature.”  Is that how you justified yourself?  Truth is I’m not too sure what would make an 18-year-old have sex with a 13-year-old, or a 19-year-old with a 14-year-old, or a 24-year-old with a 15-year-old.  Does it matter to you what the age differences are?


Or those of you who took advantage of me when I was completely inebriated.  Mornings when I woke up in an empty bed without pants on, not even really sure who had been in the bed with me.  Those of you who took me out and drank with me to excess and then thought it ok to have sex with me, leading up to moments of my coming to, alone in a room at a party, not really sure what had happened at all. 


Some of you I cared for and was desperate for you to care for me.  Some of you, with whom I shared a mutual sexual desire (or at least as much of one that a young teen can have and understand), I had fun with, only to realize that was all it would ever be.  And some of you actually cared about me. Whatever the case may be, past sexual traumas have been shoved in all of our faces these past few weeks, and many of us are reeling from things that we haven’t thought about in years or maybe just swept under the carpet and thought that it wasn’t a big deal, unaware of the daily emotional strife that has been caused from it.  I’ve heard situations described that I have experienced in my past, now talked about as violations…and it never occurred to me that they were…until now.


What I want you all to know is that it is a big deal.  It has had long lasting ramifications on my self-esteem, my decision making, and my sexual and mental health as an adult.  I may not blame all of you for the past, but if another generation of men are raised thinking that this type of sexual behavior is ok, that’s a problem, and one that I do put directly on you.  And if another generation of women are raised not knowing how to use their voices, that’s an issue as well and one that you also have a responsibility to rectify.


I was a very confused girl who wanted attention and love.  Rarely did I say no.  Rarely did I push you away.  If I started to say no, I was easily swayed once a bit of pressure was applied.  The fact is, I didn’t feel like I could say no.  That saying no meant never having love.  That it was better to just let you do what you wanted rather than say no.  That the way to get love was to be amenable.  The way to make you stay was to put out.  But none of you ever stayed.


The reason I don’t blame all of you is that we live in a society where I unknowingly was taught to please men and where men (perhaps at times unknowingly as well) have an expectation of women being agreeable to meeting all of their needs without argument.  Were my parents direct messengers of this?  No.  But it was all around me.  In magazine images, TV shows and movies.  The realization that one of my favorite John Hughes movies portrays date rape never occurred to me until someone wrote a blog post about it last week. 


We are being told about blatant attacks, horrendous sexual violations where women feel their lives are in danger, and this type of behavior is obviously abhorrent in a black and white sort of way.  However, there is also a huge gray area that needs to be discussed, where women may be confused and not communicating what they feel deeply because of social and sexual pressures.  I wanted you to like me.  I wanted you to love me.  I wanted you to be there and “no” just didn’t seem like an option to get to that outcome.  It is important for you to know that I was a terrified girl looking for approval.  Is that sexy for you?  To know that I was most likely full of doubt, self-loathing, and terror when we had sex? I sure hope not.  In your defense, I will say that I never let you know.  I never learned that it was ok to use my voice, and it’s something that as a 42-year-old woman I am now having to deal with. 


What you did has had a long-term effect on my life.  I have had to fight back from a debilitating alcohol problem that increased greatly during my teen years and didn’t stop until I was having suicidal thoughts in my mid-thirties.  I still live with daily anxiety battles and grapple with depression at times.  We are now learning that these are all issues that women who live with past sexual trauma are more likely to have.  And think about this: we are also more likely to pass these horrible behaviors down to our own children.


So, men, here is what I am asking from you:


Talk to your children.  Talk to them about sex. Awkward as it may be, it’s only awkward because we make it that way.  If they are old enough to ask the questions, they are old enough to get honest answers.  Tell them the ways you got it right and the ways you got it wrong. Admit to your mistakes so they know it’s ok to admit to their own. 


Tell your boys that if they see a girl drinking heavily throughout the night, it’s not ok to have sex with her, period, even if they’re drinking with her.  Tell them that if she’s under 18 and he is over 18, no matter how mature she is, it’s rape.  Teach them about what actual consent is and how consent can be sexy because it creates trust.


Teach your boys that cornering girls in parties and trying to forcibly kiss and/or touch them is wrong…yes, even if the girl has a reputation for being "easy".  Tell them that if a girl says no and then yes, or yes and then no, that there is conflict brewing inside her and that if there is conflict, sex is not an option. There must be clarity in consent before sex.  And please tell them that a proper response to a girl saying yes and then no is NEVER, “can I just finish?”


Teach them that it is not ok to expose themselves to anyone unsolicited, EVER.  I didn’t grow up with cell phones but in this case, I am also talking about sending unsolicited photos.  Teach them that while engaged in sexual activity, consent needs to be ask for again before trying new things.  Teach them about healthy sexual trust and that the real way to please a woman sexually from the beginning is by building that healthy foundation.


All of these things happened to me, most of them more than once.  I was a troubled girl and that led to me being a troubled woman for a very long time. I drank and didn’t say no, but that doesn’t mean that any of this was ok…and I am slowly learning that it doesn’t mean it was all my fault.  I was a child when I learned these behaviors and they carried into my adulthood.


I also want you to talk to your daughters. Tell them that no matter what, having sex, allowing touching, kissing, oral sex, whatever it may be, none of it will lead to love.  None of it will ever make boys stay. That love and trust leads to sex, not the other way around.  Tell them that having sex while inebriated can cause feelings of shame, guilt, and confusion, and to make it a rule for themselves that when they are drinking, sex is not an option. 


Tell your daughters that if they ever feel pressure to do something that they are not comfortable with, to use their voice because they hold more power than they may think.  Teach them that they should be as loud as they want when saying no.  That if they feel discomfort in a situation, even if they can’t pinpoint exactly where the discomfort is coming from, that it means something is not right, and therefore it is not the right time to engage in sexual activity.  It is ok for them to leave the situation.  It is ok for them to defend themselves.  That the fact that they “put themselves in that situation” does NOT make it all their fault. 


And make sure you are clear that whatever boy makes her feel pressured or uncomfortable is NOT a good person and will never make a good partner because in reality, he doesn't care about her, he only cares about finding sexual release.  And it is of the utmost importance that your daughters hear this from YOU, their fathers.  They can have these conversations with their mothers as well, but hearing it from the most important man in their life will make a huge impression.


In my case, having sex never made one of you stay, it just meant that you would tell your friends that I was an easy lay.  I would be so happy when one of you would call and ask to hang out, and I can still feel the desperate humiliation of that translating to being brought to a remote place to have sex in your car.  Time after time I allowed this to happen.  I was frozen in fear.  Is that what you find sexy?  A young girl too scared to move? 


The thought of my daughter having to go through what I am now going through makes me want to vomit.  It should upset us all, including you. I pray that you see the problem and talk to your kids.  I hope that you, the young man who took advantage of a much younger and troubled girl, look at your own daughters or nieces or cousins or step-daughters when they are 13, 14, and 15-years-old and think to yourself, “That’s how old she was when I fed her drinks and slept with her”.   Is that sexy now?


We all have to take responsibility for our own part.  I have been dismantling my past behaviors for the 5 years that alcohol has no longer been in my life.  But now, over the past couple of weeks, I have relived all of it including an intense deluge of the shame, guilt and humiliation which I have unknowingly been living with every single day since I lost my virginity, drunk at 13, to an 18-year-old. I feel this. EVERY. SINGLE. DAY.  Have you felt any of that?  Have you thought back on your own behaviors and felt a crushing sense of pain?  I’d like to think that some of you have, but I have a feeling that you have not thought twice about it or me, and that has to change.


It is time for you to see what this behavior does to women.  It is time for a change to be made.  I have to find a way past the shame, guilt, and humiliation, which has now turned into anger, sadness and exhaustion.  It is time for you to pitch in and do your part.  So, will you?




A Promiscuous Teen

Pictured above at 16-Years-Old



Thank you for your emails, DMs and comments.  You have all made me realize that I'm not alone and, sadly, that my story is not unique. In reaction to the incredible response that I have received from all of the world, I created a series of paintings called Reclaimed Hearts. These paintings are dedicated to you.  It's never too late to take your power back and love yourself.  Click here to see the series.


Thank you to Geoffrey Riley and the JPR team for interviewing me on this topic. You can listen to that interview by clicking here.   


Thank you to Paul Gilmartin for having me on his podcast, The Mental Illness Happy Hour.  An interview on the popular podcast with host, Paul Gilmartin, where I read my essay discussing gray area issues like consent, alcohol, objectification and trading sex for love, attention or to avoid abandonment. You can listen by downloading the podcast app or going to: https://mentalpod.com/archives/5168.   


I am an artist and writer, living in Talent, Oregon with my husband and daughter. I use creativity to break through anxiety paralysis, I play in the ocean to stay strong and inspired, and I often visit my hometown of New Orleans, where the rhythm of my heartbeat is renewed. Follow me on Facebook and Instagram where I post stuff sometimes.  To hear from me more regularly, join me on this crazy, beautiful Artventure.

Comments (112):

MAn_1975 on

Hi. I found your text by coincidence. I don’t know where this tendency woman have to think that their experiences are exclusively related to their gender. Look. I’m a man and I look back at my promiscuous teenage years, from the age of 14 when I was raped but soon discovered that I wanted more of that where it came from, to hook ups, old men, Arab asylum seekers, to finally finding some stability in a father figure, forgetting myself in the process of surviving. Then I read your text, which reminds me of myself, only to find that you exclude me from your narrative because I’m a man and apparently a potential abuser. Reality is far far more complex than that. I’m sorry that your life story hasn’t brought you to that insight, yet.

ConcernedMamaInCA on

I was very touched by this. Have discovered my 18 y.o. daughter (now freshman away at college) has been promiscuous since age 15, as well as indulged in vaping and alcohol. I struggle with the best way to help her as she is far away at university, I don’t want to control her but help her to not continue making poor choices. She is smart, talented and very beautiful, but has weak boundaries and low self-esteem. What can I do to help her? Some of her rebellious behavior is acting out—-as her father and I have had a troubled marriage. While she is legally adult, she has a long way to go before she is an adult making responsible choices.
I pray for her to get to a place of understanding that sex and drugs are not a way to gain personal self-esteem.
Note that she has mild ADHD, and some anxiety/derealization.

Vermithrax on

Your list of suggestions has one important mistake: You should teach your sons and daughter the same. i.E. your sons have the right to no as well and girls must understand that not means no as well. And no girls aren’t allowed to take advantage of a drunk boy as well.

Luke on

Let me get this out of the way—yes, BigTea, a 24-year-old man shouldn’t have been messing around with a teen girl. If he knew (we aren’t clear whether he did) then he was very scuzzy for what he did. But the author isn’t just complaining about being taken advantage of by older men—she seems to believe that even the boys her own age who engaged in consensual sexual relationships with her were somehow victimizing her.

To the author; I’m sorry—Mr. 24-year—old notwithstanding—I didn’t read a story about a victim. I read about an agent—a girl who dished it out as well as she took it. A girl who may have been used at times but who also used and then tossed aside her share of guys. A girl who was ultimately the author of her own world who now as a 42-year-old woman denies that she made choices and instead wants to play the put-upon damsel.

You say that you’ve suffered low self-esteem. Well I have good news—and this is sincere—I hope that will improve and it can. Self-esteem is far more fluid and dynamic, less deeply entrenched than we’ve often been taught. Self-esteem is basically just the reputation you have with yourself, with your own internal audience, and your internal audience can’t be fooled. Your internal audience knows you made your own choices. By facing that and taking responsibility for it I will submit that you’ll be on the path to a better reputation with yourself and a better self-esteem.

Bigtea on

To all the YouTube people. Honeybadger Allison is a nutcase. Expecting a 13 to 15 year old to have the experience to stand up for herself when confronted by adult (remember these men are 18 to 24) is unfair. These men are completely in the wrong.

Allyson on

I’m not alone in this painful nightmare anymore.🙏

Erin on

Thank you, thank you for this. You wrote the piece I wanted to write, but much better and more powerfully.

Marigny Goodyear on

Hi everyone. Thank you all for your comments. I am unable to reply to anyone individually due to the way my blog is formatted but I so appreciate all of your comments and support. Love and light to you all.

Paula on

Wow very powerful words. I’m pleased that your’re now starting to find your feet and your voice. Sexual abuse generally occurs at an age where the child is very young and is craving love and attention and is therefore easily swayed to believe that their abuser (normally a relative or close family friend) is actually providing love, attention and is appreciating them. However, as the child matures and gains some understanding as to what actually occurred – the toxic shame and self blame has the propensity to settle in deep to the core, due to the social taboos and ettiuette our culture has had in place. This in turn, for the most part is likely to be transmuted into teenage promiscuity, but really it is most likely to be what is called “revictimisation”. It is the subconscious minds’ attempt to recreate it’s connection of love and feeling wanted – even though this connection is untrue but it has already been conditioned and connected.

On a conscious level we know in our heart and soul that this is not the case and definitely not the outcome we desire or want. This is where drugs and alcohol step in to drown out the nagging conscious thoughts and feelings. Unfortunately, it’s purpose is a double edged sword – upon quietening our conscious thoughts and feelings it gives the subconscious mind the upper more benevolent hand and it will twist and distort our conscious view of ourselves once sober. This ensures the continuation of the downward spiralling effect of substance abuse and dependancy, until our soul has had enough and the suicidal ideation creeps in. It is this point where we decide to exit or to expose and fight our demons. This is when we grow and blossom and we need to find a way to reach this point sooner rather than later.

You are not alone in your quest. There is probably more like you and I then there is not, unfortunately. Hopefully in the not too distant future it will be the other way around. It is fortunate that the social taboo surrounding sexual abuse and unwanted sexual acts/attention is changing, but the onus of proof still falls upon the victim. One wrong date, time and/or place and the abuser walks free. Thank you for sharing and helping to give others the opportunity to self reflect and to grow from your story.

Kennedy on

That was a hard read. Much of it was exactly my story. Thank you for having the guts to put it out there. I see you have already gotten the standard loser dude comments. So predictable.

A on

You are so brave. This is a huge issue for boys and girls all lost without proper, caring, honest, guidance and lack of connections or even understanding when faced with making poor decisions or the resultant deep emotional distress. This article will enable many to open a much needed conversation with their teens. As a teacher and a mother I thank you so much. As a human being with a mixed bag of experiences, I thank you for the most vulnerable parts of my being. You have made your mark on the world with your generosity and honesty. Be proud of that – it should help to lessen the pain of bad memories because you have turned it around. It made you who you are and has helped many no doubt.

Stephen on

Thank you for this eloquent, personal call for action. As a parent and at work I am fortunate enough to be in the position of educating people about what you raise here. To me this is the social issue of our time. For those who may struggle to understand the problem of sex with underage girls / young people, try removing sex from the issue, and see this as a form of bullying /physical assault, and a clear example of someone abusing their power over someone who is weaker. To understand power imbalances, imagine a grouo of adults using fear and violence to get a person to work for them for free. Fundamentally and utterly wrong. That’s why sexual assault with minors is illegal and in my jursisdiction comes with a max. 14 year jail term.

Leann Trowbridge on

Thank you so much for this. I have been unraveling similar experiences and their consequences this season, as well. I was incredibly lucky to stumble into ranks with the riot grrl and punk post-feminist movement in college and became politicized early. Recent events have shown me that I still have lots to learn at 45. I also have two daughters, and will fight as hard as I can for them to find the voice I didn’t have as a teen. Sending love to you and your family.

Stephanie on

Oh how I wish I was as brave and courageous as you are. You have written a story so similar to my own. The shame and guilt for needing love from a man so desperately that I would never say no. Thank you for sharing your story.

A Guy That Made Mistakes Like Yours on

“that whatever boy makes her feel pressured or uncomfortable is NOT a good person and will never make a good partner because in reality, he doesn’t care about her, he only cares about finding sexual release”

This is as damaging as the logic which landed us in these positions. I associate with in more than a few ways, but I was doing it for almost all the same reasons so be careful with that shaming. you do admit and quite a few places that your motivations were off, but that statement doesn’t leave room for anybody else to be guilty of the same, at least not anybody of the male sex and that you would qualify it as a gender issue at all is also a bit shortsighted in this context though I get where you’re coming from and I can’t imagine how hard it was to put this together so thank you for doing it.

sarah on

This article helped me come to terms with my own sexual assault. Thank you for articulating what has been pushed down and never dealt with my entire life. This article has given me so much peace and closure and allowed me to start healing. Thank you.

San on

I’m also going to have my grands read your article and will have a discussion after.

Thank You,

San on

HI, Thank you for sharing your process on this life experience and how you are healing and discovering more about yourself. Our society needs to treat male, female individuals with truth honesty, information about self care – love, sexual safety with ourselves, others. I have male , female grandchildren, and have conversations with them about interactions with individuals , use correct book topic about sexuality, anatomically biological pictures. Talk about addictions, alcohol misuse, along with other interests, coping skills, what makes a person choose the drug of choice to calm the pain, insecurity that they feel. We need both sexes to appreciate and get along discuss, trust , develop friendships to stop the way we stereotype male, female roles that haven’t worked . Teenage years are tumultuous have conversations , get to know their friends, parents of their friends, be the adult they can confide in.
Thank you for sharing, starting this conversation we can change 1 person at a time to make this world a better place to live in.

SB on

My life is a shadow of what it could have been because I was afraid to say “yes” well into adulthood. Women “give”, more specifically, “give up”, and men “get”, and I couldn’t handle being seen as conquered. I lived the much-less-bad, through-the-looking-glass version, and that’s why I believe every word you wrote.

Men are barely trained to take responsibility for their own actions, much less anyone else’s. They really do not understand what it’s like to be held responsible for how people see them or treat them because they haven’t been marinated in it.

Chet’s comment made me glad that I don’t know him, but it was nothing we haven’t heard before. Minimizing and dismissing the chasm that lies between 13 and 18 does nothing to curb naive predators. What you wrote here will actually help. Thank you.

Alice on

Thank you so much for sharing this. I too was a promiscuous teen and was looking for love in any way I could. I have felt tremendous shame about the way I went about it. I never knew that I could say no. It is all coming up again with Kavagnaugh and the #metoo movement. I take responsibility for my choices and try to forgive. It does effect my everyday life in sub conscious ways and I struggle a lot.
Excellent suggestions for men to teach their sons and daughters about consensual sex. I hope more fathers take this into account. Thank you again for having the courage to share this.

Michael Arkin on

Wow, that was powerful! I’m so sorry you have suffered so.

Sex is such a complicated subject. I agree that taking advantage of a girl made vulnerable by alcohol or drugs is wrong. It is damaging and hurtful. It is abusive.

Do you know that young men are also vulnerable. Many think that sex means love and that they can’t get love unless they are bonding through sex? Do you know that some of us never felt love from our parents? Many parents are addicted to substances, have mental illness. Maybe were never bonded to their parents. Maybe sex has been the only bonding a vulnerable Guy has ever had

No matter who I had sex with over six decades, it never stuck. No woman ever stayed with me emotionally forever. After all, I never learned relationship skills from my parents. All I ever had was sex and we know sex is only part of the glue.

I don’t want you to think I’m a great guy. I did some bad things – treated some people wrong ( maybe not as badly as you were treated but badly nonetheless). I regret those bad things but
I can’t go back and change them

So what did I do? I managed to figure out most things by the time my second family came along. I taught my children well. They have shown me they were
Listening by living the lives they do.

Bless you for sharing your story


Rob on

If you are going to teach out sons the above lessons, also make sure to teach your daughters to fight their instinct to date hypergamously. One of the side effects of the feminist induced breakdown of the family unit, and thus the hookup culture, that the author bemoans above- is that women tend to date high status men. This allows a smaller proportion of alpha males to get sexual access with a lot of women, and then women feel used when those men don’t stick around. Female vanity is the reverse side of the coin of male aggression, and society is better off for keeping both in check.

Dave Bernstein on

Thank you for telling your story. Your guidelines on what to teach my kids are perfect. I encourage you to publish then in other forums for fathers to use. For example — never, ever have drunken sex with a first-time partner is such a specific, easy-to-follow rule to remember.
I wish I’d had them from age 17 to 24 and not have to second-guess if I was pursuing someone too hard or not hard enough. And wish I’d had them 10 years ago when my first daughter went through her teen years.
But now I’ve got detailed examples to give to my next teenage daughter and also for my adolescent son. They’re straight-forward enough to have a conversation that, while inevitably uncomfortable just by the nature of the subject, won’t make it THAT uncomfortable.

Paul on

Thanks so much for writing your story. I’m having a daughter in six weeks and I’ve been unsure what I can and should say to her, so it’s really helpful to read your words about exactly what you think should be said from a father to a daughter!
And I’m sorry for Chet’s comment, I think they’ve missed the main message of the piece.

65 and they're all gone on

Dead anonymous,
I’m now 65and my phone no longer rings. It’s been about fifteen years since I’ve “Put out”, and that’s what I now call it! You so eloquently wrote my story. I, even as an adult, thought when a man wanted to sleep with me he loved me and we would eventually marry. I was very, very, wrong.. I now have the best relationship I have ever had with Jesus Christ, and as for my family? It’s huge!!! I have the entire body of Christ! God is good! Praise God!!! 😊

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Bringing it Back to Joy….Damn it

When the holiday chaos turns me into a grinch, I have creativity to show me the joy.


Ohmyfuckinggad!  I just spent like two hours doing gift research and it’s official: The holidays do NOT make me grumpy.  Shopping makes me grumpy.

I am not a shopper.  I really never have been.  I have been letting the same woman at the same boutique in my hometown of New Orleans dress me since I was 16.  16, y’all!!!!  I walk in and say, “Jennifer, I need jeans, tanks, and t-shirts that don’t look like t-shirts.” She disappears and brings me things that I love in my size.  The end.  

I joke that I will always have to visit home because otherwise, I’ll never have any new clothes. It’s true…I haven’t been in a year and I forgot to get tanks the last time I was there and now I have one tank that I wear every day.  Gross…but true…

My point is that it isn’t the actual holiday that overwhelms me.  It’s the massive expenditure and the time suck that shopping takes that stresses me out.  

We are all so friggin’ busy.  Between the three party invitations that I received just yesterday, I realize that my schedule is getting quite full and I have to be careful.  I cannot afford to take on too much and spread myself too thin.  I know where that will lead: exhaustion, anxiety, and me not wanting to leave my bed. 

Back to joy!!!!  I opened my online holiday sale to the public yesterday.  It has been nice for me to look back at the art that I created for this sale.  It is all art that breathes optimism, love, laughter, and joy, all feelings that I experienced creating this work, and definitely a feeling that I want to bring into 2020. 


I don’t want to start 2020 being more tired than the dead.


I don’t want to start 2020 being more tired than the dead.  I want to feel invigorated and alive!  Positive and hopeful!  I want to begin in a head space that says, “YES to life!” rather than, “Aw fuck, really?” 

After my husband decided THIS MORNING that tonight, we should take a family photo for our holiday cards, I was most def in an, “Aw fuck, really?” mindset.  Shouldn’t we have done that about a damn month ago?

But then I had to get on the computer and open my online holiday sale to the public.  I, once again, had a chance to take a look at the art work.  Heart Flowers for love, Love Clubs for laughter, Surfboards for joy, and A Lovely Mess for Optimism.  *Deep exhale.  Right…that’s what it’s all about. 


The intention I want for my life is expressed through my creativity.


I love this work. I love my life.  I love my family who supports me being an emotionally challenged artist.  And I love you!  YOU!  Who is on this crazy, beautiful, artventure with me and reminds me that I’m not alone. YOU!  The one who has read this bah humbug tirade of a blog post all the way to the end! YOU!  Who while reading this thought to yourself, “Oh Thank the Lawd, it’s not just me!” 

No, it’s not.  For every person out there wearing bells and reindeer antlers, singing, “Falalalala,” there are also those of us in fetal position, rocking back and forth in the corner, wearing a nasty and yellowing tank top saying, “Fufufufufuck,” as well. 

How’s your attitude today?  In the comments, tell me one holiday "jolly" that made you want to stick hot pokers in your eyes.  Today, the Salvation Army bell was this close to going up Santa’s you know what. 

All I can say is thank goodness for art.  It’s as if the intention I want for my life is expressed through my creativity.  Even though my mind may default to the negative, my creative side is always there saying, “Or, it could be like this…”   

Alright.  Enough of the tirade.  Time for joy.  It’s studio time. 



Shop my Joyful Art for the Holidays Collection by CLICKING HERE.


The paintings at top is Seagull Prism, 8x10, Acrylic & Paper on Canvas and comes in a natural wood floater frame.  Make this little surfboard and a large dose of joy your own, by clicking here.



I am an artist and writer, living in Talent, Oregon with my husband and daughter. I use creativity to break through anxiety paralysis, I play in the ocean to stay strong and inspired, and I often visit my hometown of New Orleans, where the rhythm of my heartbeat is renewed. Follow me on Facebook and Instagram where I post stuff sometimes.  To hear from me more regularly, join me on this Crazy, Beautiful Artventure.

Tiara is my Super Power: The Strange Ways I Stay Calm

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I know which way I’d like to go and I’m attempting to remind myself that I always feel like this before a show.  So, you know what that means…

…It’s full on TIARA TIME! 


Oh yeah.  I was standing in my studio right after kid #1 came in sick, and a half-hour later, kid #2 came in panicked and crying, and I thought to myself, “when did life get so chaotic?”  Then I saw the sparkling tiara sitting on my shelf.  I don’t know what it is, but that tiara makes me feel like a gad damn Wonder Woman.  I wore it the rest of my day and at the dinner table.  I have to love my family for not even mentioning it. 

Today, I’ve got to be in go mode.  I have to get the house ready to be cleaned, go to Trader Joes for cookies and cider, Office Depot for a new receipt book, get the Christmas decorations out of the garage (omg I hope the box is easy to find), and start transforming my house into a gallery. Oh!  And I’ve got to write this blog post.   (Thanks for helping me suss out today’s to do list.)  

Did I mention that I’m fighting off a migraine, whatever illness the kids have brought in, and haven’t felt so tired since having a baby? 

This is how tired I’ve been:  I went to the ocean over the weekend.  I surfed Friday and had a blast.  Saturday morning, I woke up to find a cold and windy beach but still, it was totally surfable.  I watched my hubbie and his BFF paddle out...and promptly fell asleep in the van.  Like the dead.  

Hubbie woke me when they got out.  I said hello, and fell asleep again.  We left the beach and went to BFF’s house where we ate and I passed out on the sofa.  Hubbie woke me and moved me back into the van where I slept until 8:00am the next morning.  Sunday, we took at redwood hike, which was lovely, and then headed home where I was in bed by 9:00pm.  I guess I needed the rest.

It’s been an exhausting couple of months.  Some of the most physically and emotionally exhausting since giving birth.  Before a show, I traditionally get crazy nervous anyway, but now, I’m heading into the show already feeling somewhat compromised.  I just keep telling my body to pretty please hold off on getting sick until Sunday evening.  

I am reminding myself that my holiday sale is filled with art all about joy, love, and laughter.  Plus, I’ve decided to display my series called, A Lovely Mess, which I have not shown locally.  A Lovely Mess is a visual description of the chaos of life, and the beauty that hides within, if we’re willing to look for it.

A good reminder.

I am so blessed in this life.  I am surrounded by natural beauty and amazing people.  I have a home, a car, too many clothes, and access to art, music, and the ocean.  I love playing records and paint-dancing in the studio.  I love surfing.  I have a beautiful family, and the added bonus that we all like each other a whole lot (well…most of the time…they are teenagers after all…).  


There are people in this world with real problems…like no access to clean water problems…and here I am whining about being nervous before a dang art show. 


I know that my feelings of anxiety are valid and deserve attention, but today, as I stand on the corner of Stay Calm and Freak Out, I find myself feeling guilty about feeling anxious.  There are people in this world with real problems…like no access to clean water problems…and here I am whining about being nervous before a dang art show. 

My feelings are real and should not be dismissed but I have to wonder, when did I get so self-centered?  Is it the culture that we’ve been raised in?  We live in an incredible land of privilege.  My guess is that even some people who live on welfare have it pretty decent when compared to a lot of the world.  And yet, I would also guess that we are one of the most stressed out societies on the planet.


I wish this holiday, beyond all else, that I could just flip a switch and make the anxiety disappear.


I wish this holiday, beyond all else, that I could just flip a switch and make the anxiety disappear.  I often think about the old crusty surfer that I met on the beach one day who, with a twinkle in his eye, told me that, “stress is optional”.  It doesn’t feel optional.  How does that happen?  How do I get there?  Teach me, Oh Crusty One.

So, great…now I’m feeling anxious over feeling anxious.  Dang, the hamster is running early this morning.  But I have hope.  I have hope because right when I wrote the sentence about the hamster, I pictured it in my mind, aimlessly running in the wheel, but this time, the hamster in my head has a fucking tiara on. 

My wish this holiday season is that everyone can drop a little joy into their stress filled days.  That when our families start getting under our skin, we can picture them wearing tutus and tiaras.  When traffic, shopping, wrapping and unwrapping makes us think of pollution, waste and debris, we can also see the sparkle of the season and remember how freaking lucky we are to be born here, and not Syria.    

That the dark side of life is only one side, and we can choose to focus on the light and joyous side, and simultaneously live in a way that doesn’t feed the dark.  What a gift that would be. 

Do you ever have guilt about feeling anxious or stressed?  In the comments below, I’d love to hear one way you could shift that perspective.    

And look, I know I’m a silly human.  I mean, who the hell puts on a tiara when they’re feeling stressed to the max.  Apparently, I do…and guess what…it’s all good.


Marigny Goodyear Art Tiara Therapy


The photo at top is one of my little relief surfboard paintings I've created, for the holidays.  They simply represent joy, positivity, optimism.  This one is Psychedelic Sea Stars, 8"x10", Acrylic on Canvas, Framed $280.  


CLICK HERE to learn more and join the waitlist to get early access to my online holiday pop up sale.  Give a one-of-a-kind gift of love, laughter and joy and receive a FREE GIFT FROM ME when you order.


I am an artist and writer, living in Talent, Oregon with my husband and daughter. I use creativity to break through anxiety paralysis, I play in the ocean to stay strong and inspired, and I often visit my hometown of New Orleans, where the rhythm of my heartbeat is renewed. Follow me on Facebook and Instagram where I post stuff sometimes.  To hear from me more regularly, join me on this Crazy, Beautiful Artventure.

Gratitude & Reassurance from the Universe...in a Bowling Alley

Sometimes the Universe lets me know I’m on the right track, by simply making me smile.

I cannot believe the holidays are here.  That’s it.  2020 will be here before we know it.  It’s just a stone’s throw away. I find that by the time Thanksgiving hits, the holiday whirlwind sweeps me up and pitches me out into the new year before I’ve even had time to look around and see what the hell just happened.

Well, that’s what it feels like anyway.  Thankfully, due to the recent transition tornado that hit my life about six weeks ago, I’ve already been in whirlwind mode, and so I’m feeling strong and prepared today.  I’m already in crazy town!  Whatchoo gonna do now, Universe?

You know what the Universe did this week?  Gave me a big ole pat on the back.  It said, “Girl, you’re doing so well.  You’re being of service in a time of need in a big way, and I see you.” 

The message came while listening to oldies, in lane one of a bowling alley with carpeted wall decor.  No kidding. 


How did the Universe tell me this?  The message came while listening to oldies, in lane one of a bowling alley with carpeted wall decor.  No kidding. 

I haven’t bowled in…well…I can’t remember the last time.  I used to love it.  In high school, my friends and I would clown car it in a station wagon to the Bowl-A-Rama where we would play “Mellow Yellow” and “Secret Agent Man” on the juke box, and bowl with an extreme amount of silliness…usually ending with someone getting injured.  (I’m looking at you Eliot.  I will never understand how one pulls a groin bowling.)  Good times.

This past Sunday, we were invited to join a group of friends for a few games.  I was tired AF, and have turned down many a plan lately.  However, bowling?  Now that sounded like something I could socialize for.

Game one, first thing that happened is that I bowled three strikes in the first three frames.  Wa-Wa-What?! I have never in my life done that and chalked it up to someone needing to get a “turkey” right before Thanksgiving.  But it didn’t stop there.  I continued to bowl the best score of my life in that first game.  A 145, to be exact. 

I was pretty proud, but knew it was a fluke when first frame of game two, I got a gutter ball.  Woops.  But then…spare…spare….spare…strike…spare...holy crap what is happening?  Game two, I bowled a 136.

Game three, I thought for sure my arm would be tired, but no, I bowled a 155, including a strike and spare in the last frame.  My lowest score of 136 was even 20 points above the next high score.  In short, I killed it.  I blew everyone away, every game.  Even my hubbie, whom I have NEVER beat in bowling.  Never. Not in the 14 years we’ve been together.


There, sitting in lane one, I felt as though the Universe was patting me on the back saying, “For right now, you’re a gad damn winner.”


Over the past month, I have been exhausted to the point of freaking out in front of my family at the breakfast table, repeatedly crying in my studio, and hysterically laughing at the prospect of what the hell could possibly happen next.  There, sitting in lane one, I felt as though the Universe was patting me on the back saying, “For right now, you’re a gad damn winner.”

I say that in jest, but I’ve really been thinking about it.  I have written in the past about paying attention to the signs on our paths.  How if we look around and observe, we will be able to tell if we are where we need to be, or if we have decided to detour and go off-roading (which can be fun, but not so good on the shocks).

While I have not been questioning the decisions made in the past six weeks per se, I admit that when times are overwhelming, it’s easy for doubt to creep in.  On Sunday, I felt that the Universe was giving me a reassuring pep talk and saying, “You’ve been working hard.  You’re doing awesome.  Here’s something fun to smile big about.”

I mean, my highest ever bowling score was like a 110.  I was always stoked when I broke 100.  But a 155?  That’s some higher power shit right there. 

Thursday is Thanksgiving which has a complicated history that hasn’t been presented all that accurately.  But, no matter the origin story, it has become a time for family and friends to get together, and for all of us to reflect on the things that we are grateful for. 

So…I am grateful for my incredibly supportive, patient, and giving family and friends.  I am grateful to be of service to someone I deeply care for, when they need it most.  I am grateful for the ups in life, but also for the downs, as they amplify the ups when they come, and teach me profound lessons while they are present. 

I am grateful to live in an absolutely gorgeous place where the mountains take my breath away and the ocean continues to teach me about myself.  I am grateful for my simple home that keeps me warm and dry.  I am grateful that I am tuned in to the Universe and can hear the direction that comes my way.

And I am incredibly grateful for YOU.  THANK YOU for being on this crazy, beautiful, artventure with me.  I love this community and I know that we will all continue to inspire each other as we move into 2020. 

In the comments below, I’d love for you to tell me three things you are grateful for. 

Aw crap…here come the tears again.  So be it.  I hope your Thanksgiving is filled with love, laughter, joy…and pie so good, it makes you cry. 


Love & light always,



The photo at top is one of my little relief surfboard paintings I'm making for the holidays.  They simply represent joy, positivity, optimism.  This one is Del Norte, 8"x8", Acrylic on Canvas, $160.  

CLICK HERE to learn more and join the waitlist to get early access to my online holiday pop up sale,  Give a one-of-a-kind gift of love, laughter and joy and receive a FREE GIFT FROM ME when you order.


I am an artist and writer, living in Talent, Oregon with my husband and daughter. I use creativity to break through anxiety paralysis, I play in the ocean to stay strong and inspired, and I often visit my hometown of New Orleans, where the rhythm of my heartbeat is renewed. Follow me on Facebook and Instagram where I post stuff sometimes.  To hear from me more regularly, join me on this Crazy, Beautiful Artventure.

How Not to Turn Crazy This Holiday Season

The holidays can turn me into a stark raving mad stress machine!  Making self-care a priority enables me to enjoy the holidays, while lowering my stress.   

Maybe it’s the need to fit in all the events.  Or maybe there’s pressure to decorate the house so that it looks as good as the neighbors’.  Quite possibly there is financial stress in finding extra cash for presents.  Maybe you just don’t want to see your in-laws... 

Whatever the case may be, I DON’T FEEL LIKE IT!  “Like what?” you may ask.  The stress. The pressure.  The overwhelm. The Christmas carols.  All of it.  All the things that come with the holidays.

This time of year, I am particularly prone to “hamster wheel brain” and “chicken with my head cut off syndrome”.  I mean, let’s be honest here, I’m prone to it all year long.  So, add in multiple deadlines, revenue goals, holiday cards (both personal and professional), Christmas gift shopping, all the events and parties, and the one enjoyable task on my holiday to do list, pie baking, and I am ripe for anxiety overload. 

Not to mention that as the holidays approach, people seem to have an increased level of road rage…or is it just me?

Yesterday, an hour before my weekly Yoga class, I thought to myself, “I definitely don’t have time for Yoga this week!”  So that meant that I DEFINITELY had to go.  I’m glad I did.  Self-care is important this time of year and I mustn’t let that go slack, that’s for damn sure. 

So, there I was getting my Om on, and I announced to my Yoga community that I was having my locals’ holiday art sale.  I was explaining that this year, my holiday art is focused on positivity and the things that bring me love, laughter, and joy, and immediately I felt a shift in my stress level.

Just talking about the art that I’m creating for the holidays (both my local in person sale and my online holiday pop up), created a sense of ease.  It was as if I reminded myself what I was proactively doing in order to take care of myself and keep overwhelm at bay. 


What we focus on is what we create more of.


With that reminder, I was able to let go and completely drop in to my Yoga practice and man, what an amazing class it was.  (Props to Melissa Cooley here in Talent, Oregon at Om Sweet Om Yoga Studio.  If you are looking for a Yoga teacher in the Talent, OR area, go to her.  She’s one of the best.)  I came back home feeling totally refreshed and I dove into the studio, where I am completely behind, but I no longer felt as stressed about it as I did when I left to go to class.

I’ve talked about this before, but saying things out loud is powerful.  By just announcing my intention of my holiday art to a group of 10 people, I reminded myself of what I am attempting to create for the holidays.  Art that brings love, laughter, and joy.  I mean, if I’m focusing on that, I won’t give my brain much time to starting looking around for things to stress about.


Last week I talked about being pro-active in our self-care heading into the holiday season, and here I am, one week later, already needing a reminder myself.


Last week I talked about being pro-active in our self-care heading into the holiday season, and here I am, one week later, already needing a reminder myself.  What we focus on is what we create more of.  I could focus on the stress and tap into a never-ending stress Mobius within myself, or, I can focus on this art.  This beautiful art that makes me smile and reminds me of how I want to live: In love, with lots of laughter and infinite joy.

So, with that, I’m back into the studio this morning.  I have art to make for you and for myself.  I want to head into the holidays with a stream of positive cosmic dust in my wake. I am a pie baking, positivity seeking, optimism comet!  I can do this.  So can you.  Let’s continue into this holiday season with happiness and bring that into the new year.

I'd like to know where, in the busiest of times, you go for solace.  Tell me in the comments below.  

I’ll be going to Yoga, taking my walks, and keeping up with my daily breathing and meditation practices.  After all, this is the time of year when pie and cookies are a food group, and family and friends make time for each other. Why choose stress?


The image at top is one of my little surfboard relief paintings.  It’s a little shiny as it’s awaiting it’s finishing coat, but it makes me smile never-the-less and reminds me of the joy and creativity that surfing sparks within.  This one is called "Three Dollar Board", 8”x10”, Acrylic on Canvas.  

CLICK HERE to get on the waitlist, get early access to my online holiday pop up sale and give a one-of-a-kind gift of love, laughter and joy and receive a free gift from me when you order.


I am an artist and writer, living in Talent, Oregon with my husband and daughter. I use creativity to break through anxiety paralysis, I play in the ocean to stay strong and inspired, and I often visit my hometown of New Orleans, where the rhythm of my heartbeat is renewed. Follow me on Facebook and Instagram where I post stuff sometimes.  To hear from me more regularly, join me on this Crazy, Beautiful Artventure.

Warding Off Holiday Stress by Creating Joyful Art

When holiday stress threatens my sanity, I search for inspiration in what brings me joy. 

And with a strike of lightening and a crash of thunder, the holidays arrived. 

Ok ok…it’s not THAT dramatic.  But does anyone else feel like the anxiety tornado triples in size this time of year?  I suppose I could talk about all the things I usually talk about starting around Thanksgiving…gratitude, self-care, being of service, and yes, all of those things are important.

But I also talk about those things all year long and frankly, I’m a little tired of listening to myself.  Sometimes I feel like all I do is bitch, forgive myself for bitching, come up with strategies so there is less to bitch about, repeat.

I don’t know about you, but I’m ready for some fun!  The holidays are here.  My local’s only holiday sale, and my online holiday pop up sale are both in 3 weeks, and I have a lot to do.  I was going to make a shit ton of Love Clubs for the sale, but to be honest, I’m kind of tired about thinking about how women don’t feel safe in the world.  Yes, they’re funny, but also not at all (plus I have enough of them pre-made already to offer, and I’m going to have a “build your own” custom Love Club option at the local’s sale). 


Love, laughs, and joy is all I want to surround myself with right now. 


Instead, I’m focusing on joy.  What brings me joy without question every single time?  Surfing.  So, for my holiday sale, I’m making a series of (I hope) fifteen surfboard relief paintings based on my old sketches of surfboard art that I did years ago in the mornings between dropping my kiddo off at school, and heading into work.

For months, I sat and drew surfboard art.  It was (and still is) a dream job of mine.  By the time I stopped, I probably had something like 40 different designs, from abstract, to ocean life inspired.  I knew that I would do something with them one day and it seems that now is the time. I went way back into my Instagram feed and chose the 15 most “liked” designs to use for the project. 

These relief paintings are a new style for me.  As you know, I love changing things up and keeping myself interested.  I didn’t think that just painting the surfboards on a canvas would make the impact that I wanted them to make.  I want them to POP off the canvas, literally. 

So, I am using a light acrylic molding paste to actually build the surfboard on the canvas so that they are three dimensional.  Each surf board is given a few layers of the paste so that they are noticeably built up off the canvas.  I sand and shape them by hand.  No molds are used.  Each is unique. 

Then I paint my design on the board. I was adding complex backgrounds but quickly realized that the surfboard itself was the star of the show, and was more powerful of an image with solid color backgrounds.  So, solid colors backgrounds it is, with a few subtle additions here and there.

They are charming and they make me smile. The art that I will offer at the beginning of December, both at my local’s only holiday sale and my online holiday pop up sale, are focusing on the bright side of life.  Heart Flower paintings for love, Love Clubs for laughs, and Surfboards for joy. 


Love, laughs, and joy is all I want to surround myself with right now.  I want reminders of the light.  I need to be nurtured by positivity.  My art for the holidays is all about that nurturing, especially heading into the new year.


And with that, I have to go and do stuff.  I know it’s a short blog today, but time is of the essence and I have SO MUCH to do. 

Are you starting to feel that “holiday dread”?  In the comments, tell me one thing that you could do for yourself during this season that would help you sustain your energy and positive attitude.  It ain’t all poinsettias and gingerbread men, no matter what the Costco display says. 

Love and light to you,



The image at top is a grouping of the surfboard designs that I would sketch, sitting in a cafe early in the morning, before heading into my jobby-job.  


I am an artist and writer, living in Talent, Oregon with my husband and daughter. I use creativity to break through anxiety paralysis, I play in the ocean to stay strong and inspired, and I often visit my hometown of New Orleans, where the rhythm of my heartbeat is renewed. Follow me on Facebook and Instagram where I post stuff sometimes.  To hear from me more regularly, join me on this crazy, beautiful Artventure.



Four Reasons to Speak Your Truth, No Matter What Others Think

We fear speaking our truths because of rejection, judgement, and being misunderstood, but in fact, hiding our truths is far more damaging than speaking them.


Last week I sent out a questionnaire to you, My Fellow Artventurer.  I asked about fears and/or challenges that you have surrounding speaking your truth, finding peace within your life, and living with an anxious mind. 

I received many different answers to the “finding peace” and “living with an anxious mind questions”, but the question, “when it comes to speaking your truth, what is your greatest fear or challenge,” resulted in one common answer: you’re afraid to speak your truth because of the reaction you’ll receive from others.

This answer came in a few different forms:

“I worry what people will think of me.”

“The truth can hurt others.”

“Being misunderstood by the listener.”

“Judgement and rejection.”

“No one listens.”

“That the other person will get mad/yell at me.”

“Being rejected or not understood." 

“The truth—and I—will be received poorly.”

“Being rejected or told I’m not worth it.” 

“Rejection and misunderstanding.”

Holy Moly.  Quite the common thread.  I TOTALLY 100% resonate with these answers as I lived the majority of my life scared to death of what others thought of me.  So much so, that I didn’t show my true self, I didn’t state my true needs, and I made decisions based on what I thought “you” wanted me to do (without asking you, of course). 

Never-the-less, once again this questionnaire has shown me how alike we are, and that my fears are not unique.  It has really made me ponder why is it, exactly, that we fear the reaction of others as much as we do. 

I remember when I was a teenager, I was at a restaurant and really wanted to order meatloaf and mashed potatoes, but ordered a burger instead because I was scared of what the other kids at the table would think of my comfort food craving.  If I didn’t even order the food I wanted based on fear of judgement, you can imagine what the other decisions in my life were like.

When I was in my late 30s, I decided to start writing this blog about being an artist.  If you go back to the beginning, my blogs were about my process in the studio and the projects I was currently working on.  Then I began to speak freely about the challenges of living with anxiety, loneliness, insecurities, all of the emotions that I had felt all through my life and squirreled away into a great big hole within, too afraid of what it would mean if I expressed how I really felt inside.

Then I dropped my truth bomb about being an alcoholic and promiscuous teen and what that had done to my emotional and mental health as I grew into a woman.  It was that essay that unlocked the power of speaking my truth. 

First off, I found out I was not alone.  Talk about a shocker.  Women from all over the world reached out to me, not only to say that they too felt what I felt, but also to thank me for having the courage to speak up about an uncomfortable topic.  They called me strong.  They thanked me for offering a way to talk to our children and stop the cycle of girls growing into women who feel that they have nothing to offer men beyond their sex.  I now realize that none of us are alone.

Number two, I discovered that speaking my truth gives me confidence, and that makes me want to do it more.  My life changed that day I began hearing from my readers.  I felt seen, maybe for the first time.  And that was not the fault of my loved ones who support me no matter what.  They were always there.  But I learned that my silence was me hiding, and that’s why I had not been seen before.

Thirdly, I discovered that I had been living dishonestly.  You know what the opposite of truth is, right?  Yup…a lie.  I had to admit that me not speaking my truths was just as damaging as me telling lies.  I was scared of the outcome of telling others how I felt, and so I created my truth based on what I thought “you” wanted me to say.  The damage that was created within my life by not speaking my truths was hard for me to look at, but existed none-the-less.

Fourth, I realized that what others think and say about me is NONE OF MY DAMN BUSINESS.  I mean that.  You might be saying, “Of course it’s my business!  It’s about me!” and I suppose if others are slandering me to a point that it’s effecting my home life or career, then yes, that is my business.  But otherwise, everyone has an opinion and the opinions of others are not here to serve me.  My mental health is too important to be stifled by worry about what others think about me.


The fact is the damage that I inflicted upon myself by not speaking my truths, was FAR WORSE than the damage that anyone else’s opinion ever inflicted upon me.


Damn…I wish I had learned that lesson when I was in my teens, or twenties, or earlier in my thirties for that matter.  The fact is the damage that I inflicted upon myself by not speaking my truths, was FAR WORSE than the damage that anyone else’s opinion ever inflicted upon me.  I was my own bully.  I allowed the infinite “what if” scenarios to be the decision makers. 

And far worse, I made my decisions based on what I thought you wanted me to do without even asking you, therefore, I decided that I knew what you were thinking! If I think about it, that’s pretty fucking arrogant. I mean, who am I to know what anyone is thinking.  What…I’m some omnipotent being who can read minds?  No...I thought everyone thought like I did, and I was extremely judgmental. 

Funny, huh?  I was terrified of the judgements of others, but really it was me that thought I knew everything.  And worse, when it blew back in my face, I blamed you for not acting how I thought you would.

*Deep sigh.  I’m still learning.  Apparently, a lot of us are.  I would like to continue talking about the importance of speaking our truths as I can see that many of us live in self-imposed prisons that we have judged and sentenced ourselves to. 

I’d like to investigate what allowed me to change this behavior.  What was it that made me feel safe to do so?  Is there a way for us to learn how before we create damage within our lives that can’t be undone (AKA hitting rock bottom…)?

Let’s try this…for one week, so until my next blog post, let’s all commit to speaking at least one small truth a day.  This could be when your partner says, “what do you want to watch tonight?” and you say, “I don’t care,” when in reality you want to watch Legally Blond for the one hundredth time. It could be asking for someone else to make dinner on Wednesday, instead of slogging into the kitchen to make dinner, all the while hiding resentment towards the bottomless mouth holes that are your family.  (Come on…we’ve all felt it…)

In the comments below, I want to hear one baby truth bomb that you’ll drop this week. 

These examples may seem small, but in my past, I would harbor an incredible amount of anger around these types of daily scenarios.  If we can’t learn to communicate our truths in these simple ways, what’s the likelihood we’ll do it when big stuff comes up? 

We must start by starting, and so, let’s begin.


My Reclaimed Hearts series is now available on my website.  These paintings are all about the healing and strength that I gained by speaking my truth.  I have learned that my feelings count, and that I owe it to myself and my loved ones to express it, even when it seems hard.  Learn more about these paintings and give yourself a reminder of the importance of speaking our truths by Clicking Here. 


The painting at top is from the Reclaimed Hearts series. Diving Heart 8, 6”x6”, acrylic & paper on canvas with a 1.5” gallery wrap profile.  $120


I am an artist and writer, living in Talent, Oregon with my husband and daughter. I use creativity to break through anxiety paralysis, I play in the ocean to stay strong and inspired, and I often visit my hometown of New Orleans, where the rhythm of my heartbeat is renewed. Follow me on Facebook and Instagram where I post stuff sometimes.  To hear from me more regularly, join me on this crazy, beautiful Artventure.