I sat down with him to eat dinner and felt the anxiety building up behind my eyes, like my head would explode any second. The familiar thoughts that everyone would be better off if I wasn’t around, that I’m a nuisance, and that he was completely disgusted with me because I was crumbling right in front of him, all began to dig deep and set roots into my brain.
There is no doubt that we are all up to our eye balls in stress and anxiety. Adults are feeling it. Kids are feeling it. People (like me) who were once only wanting to see and spread “positive news” on Facebook are no longer able to ignore it. (And by the way, I felt it even when I was ignoring it….I don’t know why I thought denial was a sound strategy…) The bottom line is, shit is fucked up right now. We are in a huge Pile Of Transition. It’s a big, hot, steamy, stanky pile, and folks are getting stuck in it whether they like it or not.
Illness, death and injury can be seen as HUGE diversions from the things we should be doing. I challenge that and suggest that perhaps being of service when our family, friends and community needs us does more good than harm. Service feeds the soul.