Tag: be of service

Thank God for This Particular Anxiety Symptom

Anxiety often tells me that I don’t do enough and I don’t do good enough. In turn, I am extremely detail oriented and so paranoid about doing right by myself and others, that I will work myself to the bone to make sure that I am giving one million percent of myself at all times. It’s an excellent way to burn out.  But it also makes me strong in a crisis situation.

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How Compliments Make Me Uber Uncomfortable and What I Do to Keep My Cool Under Praise

When people pay me compliments, what they say doesn’t equate with how I feel about myself.  Therefore, I feel like a fraud.  Like I’m about to be found out.  It’s easy to think the positive voices are wrong when I’ve been bombarded by an inner negative one all my life.

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How I Predicted My Last Anxiety Attack and It Made My Brain Go Wonky

I sat down with him to eat dinner and felt the anxiety building up behind my eyes, like my head would explode any second.  The familiar thoughts that everyone would be better off if I wasn’t around, that I’m a nuisance, and that he was completely disgusted with me because I was crumbling right in front of him, all began to dig deep and set roots into my brain.

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How I Choose Beauty While Accepting Chaos

I take these steps bravely, with enthusiasm, and with the belief that there is a positive future ahead.  I’m not crying in my coffee every morning at all.  In many ways, I’m the happiest I’ve ever been.  (Which may or may not be totally fucked up, but hey, I’ve never really done things in the “right” way or order, so it kind of makes sense.)

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How Sitting in a Huge, Steamy Pile of Transition is a Little Bit Stressful.

There is no doubt that we are all up to our eye balls in stress and anxiety.  Adults are feeling it.  Kids are feeling it.  People (like me) who were once only wanting to see and spread “positive news” on Facebook are no longer able to ignore it. (And by the way, I felt it even when I was ignoring it….I don’t know why I thought denial was a sound strategy…) The bottom line is, shit is fucked up right now.  We are in a huge Pile Of Transition.  It’s a big, hot, steamy, stanky pile, and folks are getting stuck in it whether they like it or not.

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Be a Lighthouse: How I Protest Every Day

Since my rant last week, I’ve been thinking… I was at my wits end, throwing my hands up in the air and waving them like…well…like I care.  I have a ton of care in my heart, as I think many of us do.  We are not ok with watching our country’s shit show from the side lines but maybe we’re not quite sure what we can do, what difference we can actually make, and exactly how to go about making it. 

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How Faith is a Path Towards Flow and Away from Fear

I chose to change my way of thinking, and do more of the things that I love for no other reason than that is what feels good.  It may seem silly and perhaps a bit naïve, but I was testing a theory that by flowing with the things that are placed in front of me, by following the signs that I usually pass daily without much notice, I would grow not only in my personal life, but in my art as well. 

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April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month and I Have ALL the Emotions

After ten days of solo travel, one hell of a podcast interview, and once again being contacted by many sexual trauma survivors, I am feeling free, sad, compassionate, burdened, happy, grateful, and like I need more coffee. 

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Art Delivery and Numb Extremities: A Travel Recap

I caught a few waves and had a great time, but at about an hour in, I could no longer feel my hands or my feet, and I was having trouble talking because my lips were numb and didn’t work anymore.  I thought I was tough, but that water was DAMN COLD.  As I was walking back to the car, a gentleman who was about to paddle out asked me how it was.  I went to say, “It was fun” but what came out was, “immwuzfn”.  That was about what my lips could articulate.  Did I say it was cold?

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How Giving Feeds the Soul (even if it's inconvenient at times)

Illness, death and injury can be seen as HUGE diversions from the things we should be doing.  I challenge that and suggest that perhaps being of service when our family, friends and community needs us does more good than harm.  Service feeds the soul.

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