Tag: Control Freak

Thank God for This Particular Anxiety Symptom

Anxiety often tells me that I don’t do enough and I don’t do good enough. In turn, I am extremely detail oriented and so paranoid about doing right by myself and others, that I will work myself to the bone to make sure that I am giving one million percent of myself at all times. It’s an excellent way to burn out.  But it also makes me strong in a crisis situation.

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Saying “Hello,” to My Anxiety Instead of Wishing It Away

“Are you God?” The stare she was giving was one of the most intense looks I have ever seen on a person.  “You think you can control how you feel?  You think you can just make yourself not angry, sad, or unsure?” With those four questions, she blew me open, and I had an entirely different view of how I perceived myself.  

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Allowing the Ebb and Flow of Anxiety and Growth

This past week, I slipped into old patterns, and ended up in my doctor’s office due to out of control anxiety.  I was pretty sure that what I was experiencing was anxiety, but when you feel like you’re having a heart attack, it helps to have a professional tell you that you aren’t actually dying. 

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How Guilt & Shame Block Success and My Way Past the Road Block

I am having a complicated day.  I had a work misunderstanding and it has ended up costing me money, which in turn makes me feel totally guilty, like I messed up big time, and now I’m a failure. 

In an attempt to re-frame, I could also say that I learned an important lesson, I won’t make that mistake again, and I’ve been offered a way to re-coop some of the lost dollars.  That should make me feel better, right?  It doesn’t.

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How Compliments Make Me Uber Uncomfortable and What I Do to Keep My Cool Under Praise

When people pay me compliments, what they say doesn’t equate with how I feel about myself.  Therefore, I feel like a fraud.  Like I’m about to be found out.  It’s easy to think the positive voices are wrong when I’ve been bombarded by an inner negative one all my life.

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Breaking the Anxiety Cycle by Allowing Positivity to Rule

I’m just going to admit it.  I’ve been feeling pretty dang pleased with myself these days.  Being one who is aware of my anxiety cycles, I’m at the top of the wave right now.  Peaking in bliss and comfort.  I feel strong.  My energy is good.  My confidence is on point.  To be honest, I’m at the part of the cycle when I feel like maybe, just maybe, this time the peak won’t end. 

That thought brings with it a certain trepidation.  

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How Going with the Flow Tames the Chaos

I’m choosing now.  I’m choosing happy.  I’m choosing the path of least resistance.  And want to know a secret?  We can all make this choice.  It may seem scary and it may not look how we think we want it to look, but then that’s the point, isn’t it?

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How Productive Procrastination Clears My Brain of Clutter

I have been doing uber amounts of work over here at MKPG Studios, none of which is on my to do list.  Normally when I do something that isn’t on my list, I add it to the list and immediately cross it off to make me feel more accomplished. However, unclogging drains and putting up shelves is not in my current business plan and so adding it to my list only makes me feel like exactly what’s happening…I’m procrastinating.

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How Faith is a Path Towards Flow and Away from Fear

I chose to change my way of thinking, and do more of the things that I love for no other reason than that is what feels good.  It may seem silly and perhaps a bit naïve, but I was testing a theory that by flowing with the things that are placed in front of me, by following the signs that I usually pass daily without much notice, I would grow not only in my personal life, but in my art as well. 

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How Surrender is the Best Anti-Anxiety Tool

A few days ago, I was exhausted, sprawled on the sofa, tears running down my face.  It was the worst bout with anxiety I’ve had in a few months.  I’m not naïve enough to think that the anxiety won’t return when it has stayed at bay for as long as it had, but I suppose I’m still waiting for the day that my awareness of my anxiety causes it to feels less powerful.  It is still as powerful, but because I now know the cycle, it doesn’t come with the side of hopelessness that it used to come with.

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