Tag: creative

That Year I Had a "Lump" in My Throat: How My Anxiety Manifests Physically

One morning, a little less than 3 years ago, I woke up with a mass in my throat.  I could feel it all the time.  It was ever present.  When I talked, swallowed, yawned, laid down to sleep, it was always there.  I could actually press on my throat and feel a little "pop" happen.  I went to see my doctor...and there was nothing there.

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How Sitting in a Huge, Steamy Pile of Transition is a Little Bit Stressful.

There is no doubt that we are all up to our eye balls in stress and anxiety.  Adults are feeling it.  Kids are feeling it.  People (like me) who were once only wanting to see and spread “positive news” on Facebook are no longer able to ignore it. (And by the way, I felt it even when I was ignoring it….I don’t know why I thought denial was a sound strategy…) The bottom line is, shit is fucked up right now.  We are in a huge Pile Of Transition.  It’s a big, hot, steamy, stanky pile, and folks are getting stuck in it whether they like it or not.

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Be a Lighthouse: How I Protest Every Day

Since my rant last week, I’ve been thinking… I was at my wits end, throwing my hands up in the air and waving them like…well…like I care.  I have a ton of care in my heart, as I think many of us do.  We are not ok with watching our country’s shit show from the side lines but maybe we’re not quite sure what we can do, what difference we can actually make, and exactly how to go about making it. 

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How Going with the Flow Tames the Chaos

I’m choosing now.  I’m choosing happy.  I’m choosing the path of least resistance.  And want to know a secret?  We can all make this choice.  It may seem scary and it may not look how we think we want it to look, but then that’s the point, isn’t it?

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How Getting Lost in Gratitude Shows Me the Way

I’m grateful for the practice, the work, the seeking and the finding.  It’s all part of a process called growth.  After all, it is Spring and I am a wild flower.

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How Faith is a Path Towards Flow and Away from Fear

I chose to change my way of thinking, and do more of the things that I love for no other reason than that is what feels good.  It may seem silly and perhaps a bit naïve, but I was testing a theory that by flowing with the things that are placed in front of me, by following the signs that I usually pass daily without much notice, I would grow not only in my personal life, but in my art as well. 

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April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month and I Have ALL the Emotions

After ten days of solo travel, one hell of a podcast interview, and once again being contacted by many sexual trauma survivors, I am feeling free, sad, compassionate, burdened, happy, grateful, and like I need more coffee. 

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Marigny Goodyear on The Mental Illness Happy Hour

I would like to give a HUGE shout out and thank you to Paul Gilmartin for having on his podcast, The Mental Illness Happy Hour.  The segment is called, "Trading Sex for Love", and we discuss my essay, I Was a Promiscuous Teen: An Open Letter to All the Men from My Past, including sex, objectification, consent, alcoholism and many more totally uncomfortable topics.  Paul is a generous listener and wonderful interviewer and his podcast can make me laugh and cry within the same 30 seconds.  Download the Mental Illness Happy Hour app or listen on the website: 
https://mentalpod.com/archives/5168.

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One Painting with Infinite Personalities: The Process is Not Always a Straight Line

Some paintings have an identity that comes out fast and strong.  When this happens, the painting resolves itself quickly.  It feels amazing because it’s as if the painting just flows out of me and onto the canvas, without question.  I hardly need to pause to make decisions in color or composition.  It simply becomes. 

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Harmonized Chaos: Striving to live with the sweet AND the salty

Once, I was at a little league game when another Mom, who is also a friend, asked how I had quit drinking.  When I told her that I had to go and get a few years of help, the smile on her face dropped into one of concern.  She immediately began waving her hands in front of her in a cease and desist motion, and said in a hushed voice, “We don’t have to talk about it.”  It was though the subject had passed over a line, from “friendly self-help topic” to “things not discussed in public”.  

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