I was talking to my friend, and I told her about how feeling better is great and my temptation during these high times is to announce, “ALL FIXED!” to the world and move on with my life in a permanent state of bliss and peace. But in the back of my head, I know it’s a cycle. I know there will be another down swing at some point. Then I thought…does there have to be?
There is no doubt that we are all up to our eye balls in stress and anxiety. Adults are feeling it. Kids are feeling it. People (like me) who were once only wanting to see and spread “positive news” on Facebook are no longer able to ignore it. (And by the way, I felt it even when I was ignoring it….I don’t know why I thought denial was a sound strategy…) The bottom line is, shit is fucked up right now. We are in a huge Pile Of Transition. It’s a big, hot, steamy, stanky pile, and folks are getting stuck in it whether they like it or not.
After ten days of solo travel, one hell of a podcast interview, and once again being contacted by many sexual trauma survivors, I am feeling free, sad, compassionate, burdened, happy, grateful, and like I need more coffee.
Two weeks ago, I shared my biggest secret with the world, and a change has occurred within me. I feel different. I look in the mirror and I look different to myself. I'm not sure I can give this change a name, but I can give you a few examples of what's happening:
My blog post, I Was A Promiscuous Teen: An Open Letter to All the Men from My Past (see below) has gone viral, and the response has been intense. We need to keep talking, sharing our secrets and burdens. I truly feel as though I have reclaimed my heart and my power, and I no longer feel terrified of this part of my past.