Ever since the holidays, I have not been able to gain any traction in my work. Like one of those dreams when I’m trying to running but I can’t seem to build up any speed at all. At least I can say that it’s not for no reason. The past five months have been intense, and until about two weeks ago, I had not been feeling so great. Then I received a Shockabuku.
Today I long to keep things simple. Simple mind and simple actions. Slow and simple, I say. The idea of getting into a long blog post about how I’m feeling seems a sad prospect. So, here I am, attempting a simple poem. I don’t write poems that often, but today, poetry seems to fit. So here you go.
I always want to start the new year bright eyed and bushy tailed, with confidence exuding from my pours and optimism oozing from my eye balls. AND I always find that come New Year’s Eve, I’m so stinkin’ tired from the holiday, that all I want to do is sleep. I mean, who wants to start 2020 in a coma.
I have figured out three steps that I take when anxiety and overwhelm strike, that help me break everything down into manageable actions. Oddly, these steps have nothing to do with organizing or making lists. Those are procedures that come out of clarity. The three steps that I am referring to help me gain that clarity and in turn, strength and confidence to deal with the various shit shows that arrive unexpectedly.
I know that my feelings are my feelings, and they come from me. At the same time, I know that not all of my feelings are the truth, and I can call them out as false if I just engage in a little conversation with them. Sometimes, I find both truth and false in the feeling, but then I can decide what to do based on that distinction, rather than based on an overblown and sometimes imaginary feeling. Cool, huh?
I just finished 25 pieces of art for my recent Love Club series (see photo above), creating an online shop, and I’m in the middle of launching a sale that I have been marketing for a month. The Love Clubs took twice as long to finish as I thought they would and so I’ve been working nine to 14 hour days for the past nine days straight to get all of this completed.
And I had to do all of this on the tail end of one of the worst and longest anxiety rages that I have experienced in a long time. One that ended me up in my Dr’s office. I’m tired…but I have to say, I feel pretty great, and I wanted to report in with you regarding my newly adopted strategies in self-care.