I had been working on a painting that wasn’t coming along well. I was attempting to create the first in the series of “breathe paintings” that I told you about last week. What was coming out was the prickliest looking “breath” I have ever seen. It was pointy, sharp, not at all the feeling of inhale and exhale that I had hoped to create. I realized that my state of mind at the time was abrupt, self-critical, and racing like it was running around on fire.
Tag: negative thinking
I always want to start the new year bright eyed and bushy tailed, with confidence exuding from my pours and optimism oozing from my eye balls. AND I always find that come New Year’s Eve, I’m so stinkin’ tired from the holiday, that all I want to do is sleep. I mean, who wants to start 2020 in a coma.
I have figured out three steps that I take when anxiety and overwhelm strike, that help me break everything down into manageable actions. Oddly, these steps have nothing to do with organizing or making lists. Those are procedures that come out of clarity. The three steps that I am referring to help me gain that clarity and in turn, strength and confidence to deal with the various shit shows that arrive unexpectedly.
I was talking to my friend, and I told her about how feeling better is great and my temptation during these high times is to announce, “ALL FIXED!” to the world and move on with my life in a permanent state of bliss and peace. But in the back of my head, I know it’s a cycle. I know there will be another down swing at some point. Then I thought…does there have to be?
I know that my feelings are my feelings, and they come from me. At the same time, I know that not all of my feelings are the truth, and I can call them out as false if I just engage in a little conversation with them. Sometimes, I find both truth and false in the feeling, but then I can decide what to do based on that distinction, rather than based on an overblown and sometimes imaginary feeling. Cool, huh?