I have been doing uber amounts of work over here at MKPG Studios, none of which is on my to do list. Normally when I do something that isn’t on my list, I add it to the list and immediately cross it off to make me feel more accomplished. However, unclogging drains and putting up shelves is not in my current business plan and so adding it to my list only makes me feel like exactly what’s happening…I’m procrastinating.
After ten days of solo travel, one hell of a podcast interview, and once again being contacted by many sexual trauma survivors, I am feeling free, sad, compassionate, burdened, happy, grateful, and like I need more coffee.
Once, I was at a little league game when another Mom, who is also a friend, asked how I had quit drinking. When I told her that I had to go and get a few years of help, the smile on her face dropped into one of concern. She immediately began waving her hands in front of her in a cease and desist motion, and said in a hushed voice, “We don’t have to talk about it.” It was though the subject had passed over a line, from “friendly self-help topic” to “things not discussed in public”.
What feeds my soul is to participate in my actual life rather than in a virtual world where only people’s “good sides” are shown (both physically and emotionally). I don’t want to see only a person’s best of reel. I want to see the pain and struggle that leads to beautiful growth and fragility.