I have a list of things to do. Ok...that's a lie. I have five lists of things to do. I am excellent at making lists. I make a list and then divide those list items into their own sub-lists. When I finish something that wasn't on the original list, I add it and simultaneously put a check mark by it. I have a "master" to do list, then my daily to do list, which I make each morning organized into quadrants. I am a huge dork.
Two weeks ago, I shared my biggest secret with the world, and a change has occurred within me. I feel different. I look in the mirror and I look different to myself. I'm not sure I can give this change a name, but I can give you a few examples of what's happening:
My blog post, I Was A Promiscuous Teen: An Open Letter to All the Men from My Past (see below) has gone viral, and the response has been intense. We need to keep talking, sharing our secrets and burdens. I truly feel as though I have reclaimed my heart and my power, and I no longer feel terrified of this part of my past.
Thank you to Tiny Buddha for publishing yet another of my essays. I have really had to redefine my relationship with fear. Well...first of all, I had to figure out what it was that I was so scared of all the time. I lived my life terrified of disappointing those around me, that I wasn't good enough, that I didn't do enough... The negative self talk could continue for hours.